I Can't Even Think Straight : Dean Atta

Hardcover | Young Adult Fiction / Novels In Verse Kai knows who he is to others: the reliable grandson, the best friend, the romantic backup. But he doesn’t quite know who he is to himself. Though Kai desperately wants to come out at school, he keeps himself closeted. His best school friend, Matt, who is also queer, is afraid of getting kicked out by his religious parents if they knew—so he stays closeted and asks Kai to do the same. Kai unhappily goes along with it, but when a rumor goes around that Kai and Matt are together, Matt starts acting differently toward Kai anyway. Kai’s other best friend, Vass, is nonbinary and doesn’t care who knows it. Vass feels that Matt is a negative influence, putting a damper on Kai’s identity—but maybe that’s just Vass’s crush on Kai talking. Caught between his best friends, Kai turns to writing to express his emotions. But when he explodes, he puts everything at risk.